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Submitted on
June 4, 2011
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I am a pianist
And you are my piano, dear.

I play minuets along your ribcage,
Write love songs on your arms,
And press your vertebrae like keys
To let soft chords fill the empty space.
Your hairs are the resounding strings,
Your lips are polished brass pedals
That make everything loud and soft at the same time.
Kissing you makes the whole world shift up an octave.

I am a pianist
And you are my piano, dear
So let's write a duet in the dark.
Argharghargh, I don't even know why I'm posting this because it's really strange. Well, what poems by me aren't strange?

This is from the perspective of a guy talking about his love and comparing her to a piano. He can't really play, but when he's with her he feels like a musician.

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Critique: [link]

Please critique this! Do you think it's too simple, or maybe too short?
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:iconimaginative-lioness:
imaginative-lioness Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I am speechless, this is absolutely beautiful. You have created such strong imagery, and your word choices are incredible. I am insanely jealous by your skills as a poet. I especially liked this part:

"I play minuets along your ribcage,
Write love songs on your arms,
And press your vertebrae like keys
To let soft chords fill the empty space.


Incredible. Amazing. Beautiful.
Reply
:iconsugarheartedgirl:
SugarHeartedGirl Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, love! Practise, practise, practise, that's what I do. This is one of my early pieces, so it's not as good as some of the others, but I'm really happy that you liked it. :heart:
Reply
:iconimaginative-lioness:
imaginative-lioness Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome, this piece is beautiful ♥!
Reply
:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Your fantastic work has been featured here!
I'd really appreciate if you could give some love to the other featured pieces and :+fav: the journal! :heart:
Reply
:iconsugarheartedgirl:
SugarHeartedGirl Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! I will definitely check it out. :heart:
Reply
:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconkatsumibatei:
KatsumiBatei Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I LOVE IT!! I'm glad that you posted it, it's so simple and short and that's it's charm nothing long and unnecessary
Reply
:iconsugarheartedgirl:
SugarHeartedGirl Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you sososo much!!!! Yay!
Thanks for the fave as well!
Reply
:iconkatsumibatei:
KatsumiBatei Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
no problem and it was my pleasure ^^
Reply
:icontwistedfireflyx:
TwistedFireflyx Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
this is really beautiful ^^ in your comments you say 'he can't really play, but when he's with her he feels like a musician' and when i read this a second time that really came a cross well
i also really like the last lines 'So let's write a duet
In the dark. ' i think it really piece together :)
Reply
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